, , ,

Calligraphy by Julie Doan

So, I’m about to get political and a little preachy, but this is something that I felt I needed to write today, so here I am.

This past weekend a friend of ours lost his partner suddenly to a heart attack.  He wasn’t even forty, and I wish that were the saddest part of the story, but it’s not.  When he came out his parents disowned him, and they have been estranged for a number of years.  Now, when our friend called with the news of his untimely passing, the parents were not interested in coming to the funeral because they had “already mourned him.”


There are so many things wrong with the statement here, but I’ll go for the low-hanging fruit.  Disowning a child because you don’t agree with his choice of love is not just wrong, it’s shameful.  A parent should fight for her children, love them unconditionally.  To hate one aspect of your child so much that you declare him dead to you to the point of mourning him is despicable.

Let’s ignore the science and facts and pretend orientation is a choice for a moment.  Whatever happened to the old gem, “Hate the sin, love the sinner?” that my mother always said?  Whatever happened to loving your child even if you think they have made a mistake or a bad decision?  And here’s where I get a little religious: To call yourself a Christian and then hate those who do not do exactly as you see fit really misses what Jesus taught.  You are to love your neighbor and treat others as you wish to be treated.  Hate in any form is diametrically opposed to those teachings.

Of course, we know orientation is not a choice, and the fact that everyone is different should be not just tolerated but embraced.  Who would want to live in a world where everyone was the alike, anyway?  There is too much hate in this world, and violence against those who are different be it because of color, religion, orientation, or sports team is horrifying to say the least.

I know this is way off what I normally post, but I couldn’t leave it unsaid.  Everyone deserves to be allowed to love whomever they love publicly and equally, and everyone deserves to be loved by their parents unconditionally.