Since I am currently working on bringing the next book in The Everetts of Tyler series to life (and am woefully behind), today’s (overdue) post is actually a guest post, one to which I think we can all relate as readers. I remember reading a statistic not long ago stating that romance readers had more fulfilling sex lives than their non-reading counterparts, and I definitely believe that to be the case. We as readers tend to be more open, more apt to try new things, and, well… a well-written love scene can make us chase our significant others around the house.
Every book has the potential to change your life. Words have the power to change our opinions, change our goals, and even change the way we interact with one another. When it comes to the power of change erotic fiction is no exception. If you let it, it can do more than just get you excited and entertain your brain; it can change your approach to sex and your partner.
We read these stories of women taking control of their sexuality, having meaningful relationships and losing themselves within mind blowing orgasms. It may seem like fiction, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s time to take control and change your path if you enjoy my stories, but have a sex life that just doesn’t seem to align. The good thing is you can do it with the books that you’re already holding.
Use these 5 tips to get your sex life hotter than the stories you read.
This is first and foremost the most important aspect of your sex life. It will help you discover each other’s fantasies, find out what you are and aren’t excited about and build a strong relationship foundation. It’s time to talk to your partner if you aren’t happy with where things are or where they are going. Until you open your mouth and mind, your partner will have no way of knowing if he or she isn’t getting you off right or doing what you like. They may also be content with the amount or type of sex you are having and won’t know that you are seeking change. So don’t be afraid to open up. If you’re already unhappy with the state of your sex life, you have nothing to lose.
Now that you’ve gotten to talking and your partner is ready to make some changes with you, it’s time to actually spice things up. One of the best ways to do this is a little roleplaying. This is where your books can come in handy. Instead of leaning upon the traditional roleplaying of student/teacher, doctor/patient, you can use your book’s characters and storyline. Find a chapter that your partner can read to understand the character and scene and then get to it. Don’t be afraid to dress it up and get into the act. Feeling like your someone else will allow you to let go of your inhibitions, truly relax and have fun. However, don’t feel pressured to stick directly to the script, creating your own world within the characters can be even hotter.
Erotica is never lacking in the dirty dialogue department. It’s imperative in the literary world, as it helps move the story along, build a scene and character development. One of the sexiest parts of erotica can be reading the words that the characters say to each other, so don’t discount it in your real life. Bring those worlds to life and say them to your partner when you’re getting busy. Try reading a few pages of one of your favorite books to each other if you feel a little uneasy about saying certain words to your partner or are unsure of what to say. Sometimes just the act of saying sexy words out loud can help incite inspiration once you’ve really gotten down to business.
Erotica never fails to introduce some sort of prop into the storyline. Maybe the protagonist grabbed a lit candle, some nearby rope or even a spatula. There’s a certain sexiness that comes with the unscripted, unpredictable use of random props for sexual adventure. Think about items laying around your house that you can use on your partner or better yet, snatch up a few new toys from Adam & Eve that are meant for sexual exploration. Introducing new elements into your sex life can make it feel entirely different and bring about a whole new side of you and your partner.
Lingerie, like roleplaying, can bring about a different attitude in the wearer and the person getting the view. A little costume change has the power to build your confidence and make you feel like a totally different person. Look for something that will be just a little bit outside of your comfort zone and see what happens. You and your partner are both likely to be surprised.