So, I’m an editor for Literotica (don’t get too excited, it’s a volunteer program, I’m not *that* cool) and one thing that really makes me cringe (well, besides bad grammar, tense, and POV) is when the reader is told how long or what cup size someone is.  Okay, I get that Lit is a free site, and it’s amateur erotica, but c’mon.  I’m down with large members (ha) and large breasts, but I don’t need to know it’s twelve inches long or a 38DD.

Aaaaaand…. Just for fun visuals….

That's a 10 inch long cucumber I can't close my fingers around and my very favorite chef's knife...


I was making a salad last night and laid this ginormous cucumber on my cutting board, and being the intrepid kinda girl I am, I measured it- exactly 10 inches long and about two inches in diameter- nope, my fingers didn’t touch when I gripped it.  I have to admit I write my heroes to be well-endowed (as someone else put it this week, no one wants to read, ‘She saw his cock spring from his pants and stifled a gasp at its incredibly average size,’ but at the same time I really don’t like reading, ‘She nearly shrieked at the sheer enormity of his huge cock.  It had to be a foot long and almost as wide as her wrist.’ Fine, fine, so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point.

I like when it’s alluded to, or spoken about that something is large, but I’m not hiring for a modeling shoot or a porn film, so I don’t need measurements.  And, speaking of measurements, yes, I tend to write beautiful people.  I will admit it makes more sense to me- who wants to read about incredibly average-looking people?- but at the same time, I appreciate when the heroine is “real woman” sized instead of a stick-figure.  However- and this is a big however- I *hate* when the heroine laments about how she was always a chubby kid, got made fun of in school, yadda, yadda, yadda, or worse, has stayed a virgin because of it (really?  really?  There are twenty-something year old virgins outside of Utah?) and then somewhere in the book it says she’s a size 12.  Helloooooo, the average American woman is a size 14.  Sure, some women aren’t happy in their skin (wait, who am I kidding, we ALL have something we bitch about and want to change), but I don’t want to read about a woman who is a healthy weight whining about being fat.  Besides, men like women with some natural curves!

Okay, then.  Totally random post over.  I’m off to edit a college paper (the things I do for family) and then work on Chapter 9.